shredevi:

shredevi:

 What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married

Feyoncé

(Source: shreracha)


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327,178 notes - Posted 7 hours ago

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

(Source: your-scallywag)


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393,543 notes - Posted 7 hours ago

yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party

(Source: miniaturepoodle)


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162,246 notes - Posted 8 hours ago

alltime-fallout:

rlmjob:

unclefather:

I’m scared of heterosexuals. What do they want? 

your kik

haha and then what? ;)


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165,012 notes - Posted 8 hours ago

solarsisterss:

U know how in winter it gets so cold and u think u will never be hot again and in summer it gets so hot u think u will never be cold again I think that is how it is with ur feelings like when u r sad u think u will never be happy and when u r happy u think u will never be sad. But u will be hot again and u will be cold again and u will be sad again but most of all u will be happy again


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188,721 notes - Posted 8 hours ago

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207,035 notes - Posted 8 hours ago

tarynel:

bootyscientist:

dudes will call you a ho if you go to church or a ho if never seen the inside of a cathedral

dudes will call you a ho for fucking one person, one hundred people, or for not having sex with them

my point is that if you’re gonna be called a ho regardless, at least do yourself a favor and be the ho that YOU wanna be

I am inspired.


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6,122 notes - Posted 8 hours ago

beaky-peartree:

Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point


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542,417 notes - Posted 8 hours ago

n0cturnal-state:

Ariesimage

Taurusimage

Gemini: image

Cancerimage

Leoimage

Virgo: image

Libraimage

Scorpioimage

Sagittariusimage

Capricorn: image

Aquariusimage

Piscesimage


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14,763 notes - Posted 12 hours ago

dietcrush:

my friend’s dog was sick and couldn’t get up so they were gonna put him down and as his final supper they got him a big mac and when the dog smelled it he shot up and ate it in one bite and lived for three more years


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303,535 notes - Posted 23 hours ago

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